


Starry Night

by Bleu_Tsuki



Category: Darker Than Black
Genre: F/M, Humor, Mentions of past Amber/Hei, Oneshot, Parody, crackfic, for fun, plotwhatplot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:46:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23737801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bleu_Tsuki/pseuds/Bleu_Tsuki
Summary: Highschool AU. CRACKFIC. Everyone is in love with the ABC, Amber, Bai, and Carmine, and Alice Wang wants in. But when they refuse, she goes after Hei instead.
Relationships: Amber/Hei (Darker Than Black), Hei/Kirihara Misaki
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	Starry Night

**A/N: This silly plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. It's a one-shot, probably with no meaningful plot or resolution, but it made me laugh! High school AU.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

**Summary: Highschool AU. Everyone is in love with the ABC, Amber, Bai, and Carmine, and Alice Wang wants in. But when they refuse, she goes after Hei instead.**

* * *

**Starry Night**

"Second hand smoke _kills_ ," Mr. Jack Simon said to his senior year health class, tapping the board one more time. "If I catch you doing it, I will string you up by your toes and feed you to Mr. Huang's cat. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Mr. Simon," the class chorused.

"Alright, get out."

The class hurriedly exited the auditorium, eager to get to lunch. Mr. Simon was always very punctual about when to end lecture, but that was just because everyone knew he was meeting Brita, the sexy new librarian, for a little amorous rendezvous behind the book cases. Jack Simon, code name November 11, was rumored to have been a war veteran. As were all the teachers there at Gate High. Mr. Hourai, the principal, and Mr. Nishijima, the Vice Principal, had once been high up in the government before Gate Gate, ironically named, for when news broke out about contractors and dolls. Even Mr. Huang the gym teacher was supposed to be some sort of badass, though he did carry a black cat with him everywhere he went.

Mr. Simon entered the Gate High library nonchalantly, eager to have some pre-lunch cuddles. He wasn't not supposed to be there, but he didn't want to be seen either. He carefully made his way beyond the fiction section and waited for Brita outside her office. Then he noticed two eyes watching him.

"Aren't you supposed to be at lunch, Carmine?" Mr. Simon asked the red haired girl. She was seated on the floor reading Dracula for the umpteenth time and didn't seem that concerned about making it to the cafeteria at the top of the hour.

"Trying to get rid of me?" Carmine asked in a monotone. "Fine, I'll leave you two alone."

"That's not what we're doing!"

"Whatever you say…"

Carmine slung her skull and crossbones bag over her shoulder and made her way through the dense halls to the cafeteria. There was nothing remarkable about the food at Gate High. Just tater tots, rice, chicken nuggets, basic gruel.

"Hey, Carmine, over here!" a bright voice called. Alice Wang, with her ever present body guard or boy toy or whoever he was with the elfin ears, was waving frantically from the table to her right. The girl never failed to get on Carmine's nerves and she flipped Alice the bird before stalking her way to her usual table with Amber and Bai.

"That bitch!" Alice hissed to herself. "Who do they think they are?"

"Relax, Alice. Some things take time," Wei said, dipping his chicken nuggets into his ketchup.

"Urgh! But prom is in a few weeks! I don't have time to scrounge up a group of girls!"

Wei thought this was incredibly ironic as she had broken ties with Kanami and Misaki a few months before, deeming them too _nerdy_ and _not cool enough_ to be seen with her.

"Ah, I see…"

Meanwhile, Hei was just coming out of Ms. April's science class with his friend, Nick Hillman. They were friends because they both loved to watch the stars, especially during a meteor shower.

"Are you sure your sister doesn't have a date to the prom yet?" Nick was asking. "She's so beautiful! Beautiful Bai, oh my!"

"That's still my sister you're talking about," Hei grumbled. "And like I said, I'm not sure. It's not exactly like we talk to each other." Bai and Hei always used to be the closest of friends, but now it seemed like he barely knew her. Hei and Amber had had something of a middle school romance, but that eventually fell apart, and ABC arose from the ashes: Amber, Bai, and Carmine. No Hei.

"But you still live together, right? She didn't mention anything?" Nick asked. "Who am I kidding? Of course she's probably going out with someone. I guess I could just ask Mina. But then…if I go with Mina, who are you going to ask?"

They had entered the cafeteria now, abuzz with the sounds of chatter and eating and laughter. Hei's eyes scanned the room, making sure his sister was alright, before seeking out his crush, Misaki Kirihara. Watching over Bai had been a habit from when they were young and Bai always used to get into trouble using her powers. But with suppressors though…

"Damn, I forgot to bring my suppressors!" Nick moaned, "I'll be right back." Nick scampered off in the direction of the Olympus vending machine, right outside the cafeteria, leaving Hei standing awkwardly in the cafeteria alone.

He saw Misaki and Kanami, perhaps the only other two girls as obsessed with the night sky as Nick, Mina, and he were, but he was too scared to just plop himself down there and _ask_ for Misaki to be his prom date. And then, Saitou and Kouno sat down too. Sighing, he walked to the table where Mina, Yin, and July were sitting and took out his containers upon containers of homemade lunch.

"How was band practice?" Hei asked the two dolls. It was no secret that the band teacher was Yin's stepfather, the famous pianist, Eelis Kastinen. Yin was rather good at playing the piano. July, on the other hand, didn't seem to get along with the other rambunctious musical kids like Maki who kept breaking the drums. But July still wanted to be near Yin and so had volunteered to play the musical triangle. No way was he going to risk being near Bertha, the chorus director, just to be in the music program.

"It was good," Yin said. Dolls were allowed to go without suppressors as it was sometimes their only method of navigation. They just weren't allowed to look in the teachers' offices or snoop around, so each room had specter detectors and every students' specter on file. It was like murder: there was nothing really to stop anyone from committing it, but you just shouldn't do it!

The school was an integrated school, so Hei was certainly not alone in being fully human…but he still sometimes felt out of place as Nick swallowed down a fat grape-sized suppressor pill. He knew what kind of destruction Carmine and Bai could wreak…and especially Amber. Suppressors or no, Hei wasn't likely to forget who he was dealing with any time soon.

"Hey, Mina, do you want to maybe go to the prom with me?" Nick asked.

Mina froze, drink half way to her mouth. "Um…" She had wanted Hei to ask her, but Nick was still a very good friend and she didn't want to hurt his feelings, and what if Hei already had someone? "Sure Nick," she said.

"Yeah!" Nick grinned from ear to ear. "You better get a move on, Hei," he whispered, "Or all the good ones will be gone!"

"I'm going with July," Yin piped up, hand in her water glass. "Hei, behind you…"

No sooner had Yin warned them, then the shadow of Alice Wang fell over the table.

"Sorry to interrupt!" she said, not sounding sorry at all. "But I couldn't help overhear that maybe one of you still needs a date to the prom!" She released a single laugh, like a _maniac._ "Hei, did I hear that right?"

"Oh, um," Hei said, his face burning. Alice Wang was Amber's nemesis…actually, she was most girls' nemesis and that was saying something because he had seen what some of the nice girls got up to in their free time: homicide, espionage, the usual.

Misaki and Kanami both craned their necks to see what all the commotion was about.

"What's going on there?" Misaki hissed. "What's Alice doing?"

"I think she just wants to ask Hei out to prom," Kanami said, "At least _she_ has the guts to do it."

Misaki frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing! Nothing!"

"Urgh, Misaki," Saitou tried.

"Quiet! I'm trying to listen!"

"Would you maybe want to go-?"

"Saitou!" Misaki said, "Can't you see I'm trying to listen?"

"Yeah, sorry…"

Kouno patted Saitou on the back, _there, there, big guy_.

Then they watched in awe as Alice Wang stormed away, slamming the cafeteria doors shut behind her.

"So glad we don't have to deal with her moods anymore," Kanami said. "What a drama queen! I guess it just proves looks aren't everything. Or maybe Hei's already taken?" She waggled her eyebrows.

Misaki sighed. "Probably…"

They watched Wei exit the cafeteria after his ward with a last venomous glance at Hei.

.oOo.

Finally, school was over for the day. Mr. Huang, the gym teacher, had made them all run fifty laps around the yard, his cat hissing at everyone who was slacking off. Hei and Nick changed out of their gym clothes and slapped on their normal clothes before exiting the locker rooms.

"That cat is something else, I'm telling you!" Nick said. "I swear it's a man in there!"

"Yeah?" Hei asked. "Perhaps…" He'd seen stranger things happen.

They were walking down the hall, minding their own business, when Wei appeared out of nowhere, waiting for them down the empty hallway. Hei paused midstep, knowing the rumors about Wei's power and not wanting to be anywhere near it.

"You think you're too good for Alice Wang?" Wei spat at them. "The daughter of Wang Shaotang?"

"Uh, no? I really don't think I'm better than anyone…" Hei said, looking for a way out. School rules said no powers on the premises, but that hadn't stopped Mai from being killed in her own inferno last year. Sometimes _things just happened_.

Wei took out a knife and sliced open his wrist, causing blood to splatter on the ground in front of him. One snap later, and the floor had turned to rubble.

"No way! You're supposed to be on suppressors!" Nick cried. He gripped Hei's arm. "We gotta get out of here!"

"I've already sealed off all the exits," Wei said lazily. "I'm not the only body guard they keep on the payroll. Now, let's make this quick. Hei, do you accept Alice's invitation to prom, or not?"

"I thought I already told you _No_."

"Hei, now don't be stupid!" Nick whispered. "I can't help you! My powers don't work until another six hours!"

"Very well then!" Wei cried, leaping from the floor and into the air. "Die!"

Hei pushed Nick to the side, trying to steer Wei towards the large bullet proof windows on the side of the wall in hopes that he'd forge them an escape route himself. Hei was just a human, but that didn't mean he wasn't smart, fast, or tough. He and Wei danced around each other, bouncing off the lockers on the walls, and denting the floors. Wei, bleeding all the while.

Then Wei was coming towards him, too fast for Hei to dodge. This was it. Hei was going to be just another casualty of prom season - one of the most deadly times of year. He only wished he had time to say good bye.

Out of nowhere, Nick charged, slamming Wei in the head. Wei hit the ground in a puddle of his own blood, while Hei, in his panic released something inside of himself.

At first, Hei thought he had pissed himself in fear. A surge of power went through him and he felt liberated…but then he opened his eyes and Wei was on the ground looking up in terror. Half his face was scarred: burned red tissue around his one eye, even part of his pointy ear was singed off.

"What?" he croaked, slumping to the floor in a dead faint.

Nick looked up at Hei, horrified. "I swear I didn't do it!" he said, beginning to hyperventilate. "How could I? I took suppressors! You _saw_ me take them!"

Then they heard a scream from down the hall. It was Kanami.

"Oh my god!" she screamed. "Misaki, come quick!"

"What? What is it?" Misaki called. They could hear her running down the hall towards them. Then the footsteps stopped. Apparently, the exits weren't as blocked as they thought.

Hei looked down at his clothes, splattered with blood and determined to change into his gym clothes as soon as possible before Wei could snap his fingers again.

"Oh my goodness! Hei? Nick? Are you alright?" Misaki asked, running towards them. She only had a few classes with them over the years, nothing major, but already had a crush for Hei a mile deep. "Wei used his powers, didn't he? I knew he wasn't following the rules!"

"But then…how'd his face get all scarred?" Kanami asked, looking down at Wei like he was a specimen.

"I swear it wasn't me!" Nick cried.

"Then how do you explain this?" Misaki asked. "We all know Hei's a human and this looks like electrocution to me."

"I—I…"

"What in Hell's name is going on here?" a voice asked. They all turned to see Mr. Huang's cat sitting in the hallway.

"It speaks…" Misaki said in wonder.

"Yeah, yeah," Mao said. "Now, who's responsible for this mess?"

"Wei attacked us," Hei said, "When I wouldn't go to prom with Alice."

"Smart move…you, not him," Mao clarified. "I just notified the administration. They should be coming down here shortly."

"Urgh, another prom accident," Mr. Hourai groaned as he saw the hallway. "Too many more of these and we won't have a school to run."

"Yes, wouldn't that be a bummer," Mr. Nishijima said, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I assume you got the story, Mao?"

"Partially," the cat answered. "Wei attacked Hei and Nick here."

"Obviously," Mr. Nishijima said, gesturing to the blood "This is why we don't buy carpeting."

"So we have two contractors who didn't take their suppressors today," Mr. Hourai said, sounding very tired. "Alright, Nick, come with me."

"But I—!" Nick protested as he was grabbed roughly by the arm.

"And you, Hei, just…stay away from Alice until this whole prom thing blows over," Mr. Nishijima said. "We don't want another accident like last year…"

* * *

**A/N: I hope this crack fic made you crack a smile. Hahahahaha. I think I'm going crazy in quarantine.**

***Suppressors, manufactured by Olympus, are part of the Moonstone-verse, but this story has literally nothing to do with that series. It was just a silly idea.**

**Please let me know what you think of it!**


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